Friday, April 16, 2010

Not all who wander are lost

Not all who wander are lost...Uh, yes we are. We just do it in style.

Some people have a plan from birth. They march from the womb and declare to the doctor delivering them, ‘one day I am going to be a doctor just like you’. Sure as peanut butter on toast is the best thing to clamp your jaw shut, that little baby, who develops this passion through his/her child, teen and young adult years becomes a doctor in his/her adult years. That is what I like to call implementation of the ‘big plan’.

I have never had a big plan.

Of course, along the way through the developing years, this person will expand on the big plan with what I like to call ‘additional future plans’ such as where to study, maximum time allowed to study for, whom to meet and then eventually marry, the exact number of children to have and when, where to live, where to work, when best to travel, how to live, when to die.

I don’t have any additional future plans either.

I am a wanderer.

Yet I have had a wonderful childhood, great teen years and even better young adult years. I wanted to be a game ranger (courtesy of a little boy I once new who, had he said he wanted to shovel snow for the rest of his life I probably would have followed suit – he had the cutest step haircut), a hairdresser, a beautician (sadly, every little girl wants to be this at some stage...working all day at a day spa with trickling fountains and mud packs...mental), a chef, an explorer (serious Indiana Jones type-stuff).

I have met the most amazing people, have been challenged in almost every way and have met a wonderful guy. I have worked in remarkable (and sometimes completely shiz) places. I have selected something to study at random (I literally saw an advert for CPUT’s PR course in the paper and applied the next day - I wasn’t even sure what PR was but I liked the sound of it) and with a bit of serious pot-luck, have discovered an industry that I adore.

I don’t know exactly where I want to be in my career, life, relationship and when. I don’t know when I will travel and with who, I don’t know if I would like to study further or where I would one day like to live. I only have an idea.

My ideas give my wandering style.

I do what I like, what I am interested in, when I think it is a good idea. I am fortunate enough to be able to do this. It’s okay to do things differently, to not always have a plan. A long-term plan bores me although sometimes I find myself breaking into a cold sweat at the realisation that I don’t have one. I feel lost.

And I am, when compared to others and their life charts all neatly plotted out and admired by all...lost...but I am comforted by the knowledge that at least I am in wondering in style.

4 comments:

  1. Kerry, I am really blown away by your writing.. I am really enjoying it. There is so much heart, soul and feeling in what you are saying! Looking forward to reading more of these.

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  2. I agree. Your writing is more and more intriguing each week and I love reading your posts. This entry was great as you captured the reader and allowed them to relate your story to their own lives!

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  3. Agreed Steph. You have this amazing ability to write exactly what would come out of your mouth (which is usually full of passion and animation). Great blog. Lovely angle!

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  4. Great entry, your writing style transcends words, it's like your talking rather than typing!

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